I hate the word singleton, I feel like it is a condescending word made up by parents of multiples to make parents of non twins feel bad. I am sure that isn't the case at all, but singleton just sounds demeaning, maybe because it sounds so much like simpleton. It just seems elitist. That said, that is basically what its called to have one baby so I will use it here.
I ran across this blog today, and it is wonderful http://www.dadsguidetotwins.com/difference-between-parenting-twins-and-just-one-child/ Its good for me to check out blogs like this every once in a while so that I remind myself that what we are doing and have done is hard, and to not feel overwhelmed because we are doing it. Does that make sense? I will try to explain better: sometimes I feel like I can't do it, or I wasn't cut out to do this. Well reminding myself that this is actually difficult and other people agree that it is difficult, is a great way for me to feel like I am not only able to do it, but I am freaking ROCKING it.
Second, it reminds me that its ok to be sad once in a while that I have to divide my attention between the girls. Sorry Josie, that's awesome that you are climbing that chair, but I have to watch Alex now because it looks like she is about to start crawling. I get very jealous of singleton parents for the attention they get to focus on their new baby.
Third, yes, yes and yes - I don't know how involved James would have been with a singleton. We will never know (or who knows, maybe?). Maybe I would have been selfish with a singleton baby and wanted to do it all, or be controlling? I tend to take over a lot of the household stuff (cleaning and laundry etc) so who knows, maybe I would have taken over the baby stuff too. But because we had twins, we each got to parent, like, 100% of the time. Especially when they were newborns. Its easier now for one of us to do the baby thing while the other does chores or runs errands or has some "me" time, but in the beginning it was almost like James and I had each had a baby - and when one of the babies was sleeping, one of us could attend to some maintenance (laundry, food etc.), but usually it was us, each with a baby in our arms and eating with one hand, and preparing for the next round of feed/change/play.
Just last night - I had Josie in the tub while James held Alex. I took Alex from James while James watched Josie, and I got Alex ready for the bath. When Alex was ready for the bath, James took Josie out of the tub, got PJs on her and made bottles while I bathed Alex, then put PJs on her, then we convened and fed them bottles and put them to bed. Teamwork!
Finally, blogs like this are a great warning for the future. I have no doubt that the girls will be little trouble makers, ahem, like their mom was, and that they will be partners in crime. I also need to remember to enjoy individual memories with each kid. Its so easy to make sure everyone is getting a fair share. But that doesn't help build individuality. I'm sure this will make more sense in the future when they have more external likes and dislikes, but for now I do appreciate having alone time with each girl when the other is napping. (Josie is an afternoon napper and Lexie likes to take her naps in the morning).
I have a blog about newborn babies I am working on, and have been for two weeks now. Very reflective month I guess!
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